My Beautiful Lies (Beautiful Nothing #2) Read online

  MY BEAUTIFUL LIES

  © Copyright 2016 Alisha Cole

  KINDLE EDITION

  All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

  Cover design by Justin Temporado of Ready, Set, Edit

  Edited and Formatted by Wendi Temporado of Ready, Set, Edit

  To all of my fans:

  I would be nothing without you!

  TABLE OF CONTENTS

  PROLOGUE

  CHAPTER ONE

  CHAPTER TWO

  CHAPTER THREE

  CHAPTER FOUR

  CHAPTER FIVE

  CHAPTER SIX

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  CHAPTER NINE

  CHAPTER TEN

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  The bathtub is overflowing with red-stained water, flooding the bathroom floor. Stepping through the water, I see her arms hanging over the sides. Her pale skin now dyed a crimson red. Her head is back; her eyes are closed. I rush to her side and lay my head on her chest listening for a heartbeat. The pulse is there, but it's slow. I hesitate no longer and dial 911. Quickly removing my shirt, I tear it into strips. I wrap them around her wrists, tying them tight to keep pressure on her wounds. I turn the running water off, then lift her limp body out of the tub onto the floor. Within minutes, I hear the sirens coming down the road.

  The paramedics rush in asking all kinds of questions, but all I can do is tell them I am her therapist and friend. They lift her up on a gurney and carry her down the stairs. Quickly following behind them, I climb in the back of the ambulance with them and take off. My head spins as they hook her up to an IV. Watching them trying to stabilize her has my heart beating fierce. I can't answer any of their questions while staring at her lifeless body, cold and pale in front of me.

  I follow through the hospital doors as they race inside. When we pass the nurses' desk, security stops me with a hand on my chest. "Sir, we need you to stay in the waiting area. She is being taken care of. You can't go back there." Rolling my eyes, I give him a nod and go take a seat. With my head in my hands, I do the only thing I can. I wait.

  A nurse tapping me on my shoulder wakes me. I must have fallen asleep after the first few hours. “Dr. Hardy?" a short, round woman asks, holding a clipboard.

  “Yes that's me, is she okay?" Standing up to face her, I place my hands in my pockets to hide my anxiety.

  “She is stable currently; she has lost a lot of blood. We have stitched up her wounds, but she is getting a blood transfusion as we speak. She may need a couple. She lost a dangerous amount of blood.” Consulting her clipboard, she asks, “You are her psychiatrist, correct?”

  “Yes, I have been for a few months. We are close friends."

  "Do you know why she would be wanting to commit suicide?" Running my hands through my hair, I try to give her a reason.

  “I know she has been depressed I just never thought she would take it this far, you know?" She writes down everything I say. I should be used to that, since I do it myself for my patients, but I start getting antsy as she stands there silently. “Can I go see her now?"

  “Doctor, we can’t allow any non-family members in at this time. I'm sorry. Also, we have placed her under suicide watch for her remainder here. I suggest that you head home, shower, and get a good night of sleep and return in the morning." I tell her thanks for nothing and leave the hospital.

  Back at home, I walk up the pathway to my vintage home. I stop before I reach the porch, looking at the old purple shingles chipping and the stained glass windows. I live in the backwoods in an old family inheritance. I love how quiet it is. Most people would think being a doctor I would like people, but I am actually thankful not to have any nosy neighbors prying into my life. Especially when I have a few demons of my own to hide.

  I open the door, place my keys on the key rack, and head to the kitchen for a late dinner. I open the fridge, grabbing two eggs and some bacon. I make my dinner, place it on a tray with a glass of orange juice, and head to my library for a book. Clicking off the music, I make my way to my room on the second floor.

  I eat and finish a few chapters of my book before I set my alarm. I turn out the light and roll on my side to get comfortable. When I close my eyes, images of my own lies haunt me as I drift to sleep.

  ***

  The alarm sounding off loudly pulls me from my sleep. I turn it off and just lie there. I hate getting out of bed for work, listening to people who think they have serious problems when they are just pitying themselves over dumb shit like work or kids. I am meant to fix people with the darkest past and unseen futures. Sometimes I believe I need to break them first before I fix them—Laney is one of them. She just doesn't know it yet.

  After a quick shower, I place my suit and tie on and head down the stairs when my cell phone rings.

  “Dr. Hardy, I hope this isn't a bad time? I just wanted to inform you that Laney is awake. She's doing well, except she won't talk to anyone. I would really appreciate it if you could come down and give it a shot." Letting out a sigh of relief, I tell her I'm on my way.

  At the hospital, I make my way through the doors asking the nurse which room she is in. There she sits on the small hospital bed facing the window, the only sound is the beating of my heart mixed with the sounds of the machines she is hooked to. When she feels my presence, she faces me with a dull stare. No emotion at all, completely empty. “I’m sorry I wasn't there when you needed me. If I could go back to that night and stay there like you needed me to. We wouldn't be in this situation."

  She faces back toward the window. “I didn't want you there; I wanted to die.” I should feel like my world was just ripped away, but I don't. I feel like she is the same as me, so broken beyond repair. I know I can fix her, though.

  “Why do you want to die? Why do you want to remove yourself from this world? Did you ever think of how much hurt you can cause someone? I love you, Laney, and you just want to throw it away? I can't picture living in a world without you in it."

  Nothing is real; we all live in fantasy worlds where we choose when the world ends. She isn't ending it just yet.

  “I don't care who I hurt or who loves me. I have no reason to live; you took that away from me! You took my choices! They were mine to make, not yours!" She’s screaming at me with a raw look in her eyes. "I will never be that girl that loves you or the one you can fix! That girl is gone, so go home and forget about it, James! Isn't that what you told me? To just forget? Just to remove the nightmares and be done with it? To forget my best friend is dead?” The first tear rolls down, just enough emotion to show she still cares.

  She's right, I did tell her to forget, but with my help. “Laney, I told you I can make you forget. You won't be alone." She shuts down, lying on her side facing the window. I stay silent and sit in the chair next to her bed. After waiting an hour in the quiet room, I hear her breathing steady and know she has fallen asleep. Standing up, I make my way to the side of the bed she is facing. I run my hand across her warm cheek. Leaning in, I kiss her forehead before leaving the room.

  I head back home to eat lunch before I return to the hospital to try again. Before leaving, I make her a pot of soup and place it in a thermos. Back at the hospital, I reach her
room to find her in the same spot I left her. Grabbing the chair, I move it over to the side of the bed she is facing and clear my throat. She opens her eyes and a frown spreads across her face. “So, that's the greeting I get for a guy that brings you soup?" She rolls her eyes then closes them.

  “Why are you here? Can't you take the hint? Once I play nice in here, do what I'm told, I'm ending it. I will be gone, so stop trying to fix me or change my mind. It's not going to happen." When she stops talking she opens her eyes and stares at me.

  “What happened to the woman that had that fight in her? The fire in her eyes when she told me some of her nightmares? What happened to her, Laney? Lindsay could still be out there and alive, and here you are just giving up on her and giving up on yourself."

  She throws her blanket off, sitting up quickly, stumbling to the side from the rush. “I fucking told you to leave! I don't want to fight or look for answers anymore. I will never find them! They are at the bottom of the river now!" I am hitting a nerve, which is a good thing.

  “Did you find her body? Is there something you're not telling me?" Sarcasm pours off my words, as I get in her face questioning her.

  She reaches her hand back, slapping me firm across the face with a loud smack. “Don’t you dare talk to me like that! Why can't you just deal with my choices? Why do you keep trying like I didn't almost die in that bathtub! I don’t want to fight anymore. I just don't." Tears stream out of her baby blue eyes as she leans in sobbing in into my shoulder. I wrap my arms around her, letting her cry as I rub her back. I should have been stunned by her hit, but I'm not. I saw it coming. It's what I was after. She needs to get it all out whether it hurts me or not.

  “You let it all out right now, and the pain will be easier. I promise you it will all get easier. I’m right here. I'm not going anywhere, baby." Squeezing me a little tighter, she continues to cry apologizing for what she has done. I hold her for hours until her body gets heavy in my arms; she is starting to get tired. I lay her down on the bed, tucking her in, then lean back in the chair and close my eyes, drifting off into my own slumber.

  A nurse comes in and wakes me up by messing with Laney's machine. I bolt upright and look at Laney who is sitting up looking at me with more light in her eyes then earlier. Smiling, I stand and lean down to kiss her forehead. I have a feeling that she is going to be okay. The nurse leaves the room and Laney starts to talk. “I don't want to die; I am willing to fight if you will stay by my side. Will you stay with me? Not just in here, but will you stay with me at my house? I'm scared that if I'm alone, I can't keep my promise not to end it."

  “I said I would be by your side and that means always. I won't leave you again even if you beg me." That's all it takes for her to throw her arms around me in relief.

  THREE MONTHS LATER

  I have been staying every night at Laney's house while I have a friend take care of mine. She is looking better, getting back into her music, and finally teaching children how to play piano again. Two weeks ago she woke up on a Saturday morning and told me she was ready for a change. She dyed her hair a warm brown, started wearing makeup. She stopped hiding from the mirror and actually spends a lot of time in front of it now. We take jogs down the back roads of Edge Water every morning before we leave for work. This is the Laney I saved, the care-free woman I saw behind her hooded eyes.

  As I stroll my way down the stairs, I can hear her in the kitchen with the music playing softly as she cleans. She is standing over the sink washing dishes. As I guide my hands around her waist, she jumps but relaxes instantly. “You off today?” she asks as she leans her head back looking at me.

  “Sure am, what do you have in mind?" Placing light kisses on her cheek, she giggles, turning around to face me. Her hands slide up and around my neck smiling.

  “Well, I thought maybe we could go to the local music store; I want to buy a piano for the house. Well, for me, unless you play." I grin as she giggles. She is so sexy in her low-cut shorts, showing off her sexy legs. We have slept together a lot since the incident; it helps her cope by replacing the bad memories with good is what she tells me. So far it's been working pretty well—we can't keep our hands off each other.

  She doesn't really talk about her nightmares or Lindsay anymore, which worries me that she’s keeping it bottled up. If that's what she has to do to forget, then I guess I will go along with it until she cracks again. I tell her to go take a shower and I will be right behind her. Walking into the bathroom, images flash through my mind of the night I saw her bloody body. I get lightheaded as it races through my mind, but her voice humming in the shower erases it all in an instant. Stripping off my sweatpants, I slip in the shower behind her.

  The hot water runs down my chest as I grab her by the hips, pulling her closer until her ass backs up, hitting my cock. I grow hard at the touch. Running my hands down her body, I reach around to her clit. Whimpering softly, she places her hand on mine. We work together in soft circles as she moans my name. I turn her around roughly, pushing her back against the cold tile wall. Dropping to my knees, I push her right leg up on my shoulder, kissing her inner thigh. I spread her legs wider as she holds onto my shoulders, I send the first shiver up her spine with my first slow roll of my tongue.

  I lap up her juices as she pants and moans with shaky legs. When I can't take it any longer, I stand up, bringing her head to mine, kissing her impatiently. She guides her hands to my dick, stroking it with a strong grip. I lift her up, placing her legs around my waist as she guides my cock to her entrance. In one quick thrust, I am deep inside her, working in and out. She tightens her legs, moaning and pulling at my hair. When she shouts out that she is almost there, I drive in deeper and faster as her head falls back. Her eyes are rolled in the back of her head as her whole body shakes and I watch her come undone. Following right behind her, I pull out and let the water wash it down the drain.

  Once we finish taking a shower, we get dressed to head to town. We walk through the doors and her face lights up. She grabs me by the arm, taking me throughout the store to look at all the grand pianos. She tells me about how her grandfather bought her first piano, how she would play every day. She proceeds to talk about the different types of pianos, bubbling with excitement. I haven't seen her so happy in my life. At this moment, I feel regret for all of the things I have put her through as I fall more in love with her. But the voices in my head say differently, leaving me fighting with myself.

  She squeals when she finds the perfect one, so I call over a worker to talk to her about it. She pays the man and sets up the delivery date and we leave the store for lunch.

  We decide to eat at the Munch Box since it is close to home. I order a double-bacon cheeseburger and fries; she orders a small order of fries. I look at her with raised eyebrows and she laughs saying she isn’t that hungry. I brush it off, but I see the sadness showing in her eyes. We chat about her job; she wants to get her class into a state competition. I agree that it sounds good for her. I drift from the conversation when thoughts of her hurting take over. I want to be normal with her. I want to make her happy. But this monster doesn’t stay hidden long. He feeds on tears and lusts for screams. I don’t know how to silence it anymore—I need a release.

  “Are you listening to me?” She giggles.

  “Yes, sorry. I am really tired today for some reason.” I pay the bill and take a ten-dollar bill out, placing it on the table. When we make it to the car she asks if she can run inside another store. I tell her sure as long as I can sit in the car and wait.

  I wait for another thirty minutes before her smiling face climbs in the car.

  “Find everything you were looking for?” I ask her, reaching over her to fasten her seat belt.

  “Yes, I got this new scarf. With Christmas coming I wanted to celebrate with style.” She laughs playfully, showing off her dark maroon scarf with silver accents. I smile, but it’s not a full smile. It never goes unnoticed with her. She catches it and frowns.

  “I think I nee
d to go home for a few hours and think.” Rubbing my hands through my hair, I look at her asking for approval.

  “Think about what?” The concern in her eyes shows a hint of sadness, making me feel worse.

  “Work. I have this patient that’s having a really hard time. I’m trying to think of ways to break through the barrier. Get them to talk, you know?” I am lying straight to her face. I feel the sweat rolling off back of my neck. Lying to her is becoming a hard habit to break—I just keep piling them on.

  “Oh. Okay, well, I can make myself useful while you’re gone. I can go to work and try to get some of my weaker students ready for the competition,” she says as she looks down. Flipping her hair onto one shoulder, she lifts her head back up to look at me. I can see the anguish seeping through her words as she fights back her tears. The fear sets in as she struggles to find the words she was going to say, but I cut her off mid-sentence.

  “I will be back tonight; you have nothing to be upset about. I just need to be in my office at home, thinking up strategies to help my patient. I promise it has nothing to do with you or us. I just need to think in a place that has always helped me,” I lie. Going home will just feed the desires haunting me.

  I lean over and wrap her in a tight embrace. Lifting her chin, she stares past me.

  “I know I overreacted—I am getting really good at that. I guess I was just worried because we haven’t been away from each other since that day… you know?”

  “I get it, I do. But there is absolutely nothing for you to stress over. I will be back tonight and we can have a nice dinner. I will even cook,” I say, kissing her forehead gently.

  She agrees with a genuine smile. The ride home is quiet, and I want to break the hushed space between us.

  “I love you, and I know you’re worried. Don’t be, okay?” I say, reaching across and placing my hand on hers.