My Beautiful Nightmare (Beautiful Nothing #1) Page 3

  I want to fight him. I want to lash out and bite him, pull his hair anything. That is what he wants though so I stay still.

  "Aw, don't tell me I broke you already?"

  "You know once I start slicing your soft skin with my pocket knife you won't be able to hold still right?"

  He withdraws himself from my body, while he walks over to my dresser I notice he has things set up on it. He drops his towel and as it pools on the floor at his feet, I glance at his rock hard cock as he takes it in his hands and starts to stroke himself. He reaches for a gold wrapper on the dresser and tears it open and rolls the condom on his length. His cock is massive and I start to wonder if he plans on killing me with it alone.

  "I told you that I will make you bleed, makes you think about your bad decisions doesn't it? You could have been mine instead of his and maybe we wouldn't be here right now. But you just couldn't say no to Jake Thomas the rock star."

  He stalks towards me once again and gropes my ankles as he spreads them apart, he ties each one to the foot board on either side. He grabs a pocket knife and flips it open with the fling of his wrist.

  He slowly moves the blade from my ankle all the way up into my inner thigh and repeats the process on the other leg. Once he starts to trail the dull blade up my hips to my side he presses a little harder until I feel the blade graze the skin open. Blood trickles down my right side dripping on the white sheet. I yelp in pain as the burning sets in.

  This makes him happy his smile becomes wider and he continues the process on my inner thighs repeatedly. I am now bleeding and thrashing underneath his assaults. He lowers his head between my legs and lazily traces his tongue over the bleeding wound on my thigh. I didn't see what coming next was just wailed out in pain. He bit my inner thigh so hard it drew blood and is already turning purplish-black.

  "Fuck!" he yells. "You are going to need to suffer more than this! You're not fighting me as hard as you should!" He snaps as he jumps on the bed and kicks me in my side with as much force he could muster. Howling in pain, tears escape my eyes. He drops down and grabs my face in his hands and orders me to look at him. I reply back with terror filled eyes meeting his black ones and he laughs.

  "Where is the fight? You are fucking worthless!" he screams in my face.

  He jerks my head back and it connects with the headboard everything goes black.

  I jump up fully awake covered in sweat, as I let out a clipped screech. Lindsay dashes off the couch alarmed. I can't breathe my chest is heaving in and out at a rapid pace. My heart beat is strumming like a humming bird's wings as stare into my best friend’s worried eyes.

  "I remember." I stutter breathless. "I remember his eyes the way they stared into mine like I was some useless whore." I sniffle.

  "I remember the way his hands violated every inch of my body, the blood oh my god there was blood Lindsay."

  "Who?" She asked.

  "Harry...it was Harry?" I ask shakily.

  She gasped as she covered her mouth with her hand, tears filled her eyes as she got to her feet. She stumbles tripping on a throw pillow on the floor practically falling into my lap she wraps her arms around me. I hold onto her tighter as I realize I am not the only one Jake has made suffer.

  Lindsay stays latched on to me as she gently runs her fingers through my hair. I cry myself back to sleep in her arms. I wake up to Lindsay's cell phone ringing. I open my eyes and look around the room for her but I don't see her anywhere. I call out her name nervously.

  "Lindsay?" I hear a crash in the kitchen and jump up rushing after the noise. Lindsay is standing there in her night shirt and short-shorts with a spoon in her hand with a look of embarrassment on her face. She was making pancakes in a glass bowl and dropped the glass bowl and it shattered everywhere.

  "Oops!" She giggles.

  I can't keep a straight face seeing her standing there with her dyed curly pink hair meeting her shoulders. The way her tall slender body looks in her oversized night shirt. The way her big brown eyes make her look innocent as if she didn't lose her grip on the bowl, like it just magically flew out of her hands. I start laughing so hard I feel my eyes getting moist and the stabbing pain in my side starts to make its appearance.

  "Well I am glad I can make you laugh so early in the morning." She states sarcastically.

  "You have to admit that it's funny!"

  "Okay I will give you that, I mean I tried to make my bitch some breakfast but since she is laughing at me she can eat cereal now!" She threatens.

  I continue to laugh as she starts to pout about cleaning it up. Once she has everything cleaned up she pulls out two bowls for the cereal, and once again I find myself doubled over in laughter.

  "Ha-ha I know what you're thinking but they are plastic they won't break if I drop them." She says. She pours us a both a bowl of cereal and after my first bite I look out the corner of my eye and make a funny face at her and that was it my goal for the day. She laughs shooting milk out of her mouth and nose. When we were younger I use to make her do this all the time, last time I did it with Dr. Pepper. She gets up and runs to the sink screaming at me for getting her again.

  "I can't help it that I am so funny and tend to do it when your mouth is full."

  "You're gonna kill me one day, I swear it!" She whines.

  "Hush you know you love me." I grin.

  It's about three in the afternoon and we are still just lying around the house. I am starting to understand why she always wanted me to move in. It is quite here, everywhere you turn there are memories of Mom and Dad. I loved her parents as if they were my own and I have always been too big of a pussy to move in here and deal with the pain of them being gone.

  My mom ran off to Florida when I went off to college, she didn't approve of my choices for a career or the boys I dated. We never saw eye to eye she always wanted more for me. I however decided I wasn't made for law school, I was made for music. I fell in love with music on my 8th birthday when my grandpa gave me a piano. He came over and gave me lessons 4 times a week. My mom hated it, she always pushed me further into books telling me that if I ever wanted to be successful that I needed to study something that I could actually use in life. I didn't listen, I practiced every day, day in and day out to become one of the top piano players in the state. She finally gave up on trying to change me and left me high and dry in the middle of college. Lindsay's parents stepped in and accepted me as their own.

  My dream of being a piano player only took me so far. I am a music teacher for a local school of music. Mom was right my dreams didn't make me very successful but it does make me happy and as far as I am concerned that's what matters. My thoughts make me jump up off the couch in worry.

  "What's a matter oh my god are you okay?" Lindsay says as she jumps up to rush next to me.

  "My job. Did I lose my job?"

  "I don't even have money or my phone, my cars gone what fuck am I going to do?" I say out of breath.

  "Well I can get you a new phone, but for now you can use my phone to call your work if you want."

  I thank her and she heads to get dressed for we can go get me a new cell phone. I grab her cell and dial the schools number.

  "Hello, Sliver Lake's School of Music, this is Katy speaking can I help you?" Katy answers.

  "Katy this is Laney I know I have been gone without a word for a week, and I have no excuse for it." I say trying to think up an excuse.

  "Oh my goodness I have been so worried about you! I heard about Jake and that you went back to Florida."

  Motherfucker, she knows the whole fake story now what the fuck can I say to that, I am so pissed I tell her a huge lie.

  "I had a miscarriage Katy and I didn't know how to explain anything to anyone I have been laying low at my friends because I am just...having a hard time with everything." I lie.

  "Oh my. Please take as much time as you need darling. I am so sorry for both of your losses." She sniffles.

  I let my body relax and let her know that I will be back
when I am ready. She agreed and said to take as long as I need, with that we hang up. I get off the couch and head to Lindsay's bedroom to get ready.

  Chapter 4

  Deal with it

  "Ooh...this one is nice." Lindsay says as she hands me the iPhone 5. I give her a dirty look and roll my eyes.

  "You are so stubborn!" Lindsay exclaims.

  "I am not stubborn, I am just not a fan of the iPhone. I like my Samsung Galaxy get over it." I laugh. She shrugs me off and hands me a white Samsung Galaxy 5. I agree that I love it and we make our way over to pay for it and my eyeballs almost fly out of my head when I see the price that is rung up. $789.83 is way more than I could afford, the first phone I had was the galaxy 4 and I got it for a penny when I signed up for the 2 year contract.

  "Oh hush Lane, it's no big deal. You know mom and dad left me with way too much money. I am pretty sure they would kick my ass if I didn't buy it for you."

  Her comment makes me smile, she is right they would kick her ass. I let her buy me the phone but then she insist that she buys everything else I need to go with it the screen protectors, case and the insurance plan adding up to be over a thousand dollars. I wanted to punch and hug her at the same time. She never stops there though she makes sure to take me to the bank to see if I can get a new card and see if I even have any money left. I get a new card and surprisingly all my savings are still there, I actually cried when the lady told me it was all still there the entire $10,000 dollars I have been saving since high school. After getting my card I went to a local impound lot looking for my car. Turns out that my car was impounded by the police and was smashed to pieces.

  Great and here I thought my day was getting better. I guess it could be worse, I could have lost all my money. I hop back in the passenger seat next Lindsay and she stares at me waiting for a response.

  "Smashed to smithereens." I say pissed off.

  "Fuck it at least it was a shitty car and not a brand new one right?"

  "You're right let's just get the fuck out of here." I say as I lay my head on the door.

  "Do you think I should move far away from here?" I ask. I can see the fear in her eyes with the question I just threw at her.

  "No I don't, because if the crazy son of bitch is going to mess with you he has advantages to do it no matter where you are and I think the only place that you...and I will feel safe is here. We need to stick together. I don't know what I would do if I ever lost you." She says with a painful look on her face and at that moment I know she is right we are all we have left.

  We make it home with some good news and some bad. Good, I have money, a phone, and my job. Bad, I lost my car, my home, and my dignity.

  I help Lindsay clean out the spare room. It’s small with one window facing out to the woods in the back of the house. The walls are painted a bright yellow with ugly sunflower paintings hanging all over it. Lindsay giggles as she takes them down and places them in a box marked attic.

  "Mom always said the room was so small, so she painted it yellow and put these ugly ass flower pictures up saying they would brighten the room making it appear larger." She giggled.

  "I remember that and I also remember her getting so mad at us for laughing at her for it." I say.

  “I actually don't mind them being there Lindsay, you can keep them up they make it feel like home." I say with a small smile.

  She starts to take them out of the box and replace them back on the walls. She continues cleaning out the closet that's filled with boxes marked with different holidays on them and I help her take them into the hallway. We cleared out most of the junk that was in the room left over from yard sales mom would always have every spring. The room was bigger afterwards, there was a full size bed in the middle off the room. There is a dark brown dresser directly in front of the bed that holds a 40 inch old tube television, a matching night stand on the left side of the bed and the walk in closet which is now completely empty.

  "I will be right back." Lindsay says out of breath from moving everything.

  I take the moment of silence to soak in the room, my room. I hear Lindsay grunting followed by a bag ruffling. I turn to see her dragging in all four of my trash bags of clothes.

  "I could have gotten those!" I say.

  "I went to get a drink and said why not." She says on a huff of breath.

  She tells me to relax that she is just happy that I am here with her and she wants me to feel comfortable. She changes the sheets on the bed, folds all of my clothes and puts them in the dresser. I sit back with an amused smile on my face when she turns to look at me.

  "What?" She questions.

  "I just think you are funny, and awesome, and that sometimes I just want to strangle your pretty face." I say laughing.

  "Well I might be funny and awesome but please don't strangle me I might like it." She says with a wink.

  "Freak..."

  "Bitch..."

  We go on for a half hour calling each other names playfully while setting up my room, well mostly just chatting.

  It's been two weeks since the incident that has left me scarred forever. I have woken with a new dream every night of a different man that did those things to me, not knowing if it's real or not. I haven't heard from Jake or anyone else for that matter since then. I finally have started settling in at Lindsay's. We have a routine every night that we eat dinner, talk, and watch a movies until we fall asleep.

  Lindsay works at preschool about 30 minutes away from home. I have been home, I haven't been in the mood to go back yet and I just don't have the heart to go in there with a smile in front of a bunch of kids and pretend that I am okay. I am not okay, and I think Lindsay is starting to see it to. She asked me to go to the shrink she sees once a week to deal with the loss of her parents she says it helps a lot. I agreed that I would try it for her though not for me, I am not supposed to tell anyone confidential or not. I could probably be in a lot of shit right now for her knowing.

  Chapter 5

  The Doctor

  It’s 3:30 in the afternoon, I am waiting for Lindsay to get home from work. Today is my first appointment with the shrink. I am nervous as hell. I have gone back and forth from my bedroom to the bathroom a million times checking my appearance. I finally settle on a pair of skinny jeans with a black and purple flannel top, and my purple converse. I pull my hair up into a messy bun, I can never make look good without actually trying really hard to make it that way. I dab my lips lightly with clear lip gloss and line my eyes with eyeliner and finish with black mascara. I am finally done and start to make my way down the steps when Lindsay walks through the door.

  "Hey Sweets, you ready to go?"

  Making my way past her to the side table by the door to grab my purse I say.

  "Yeah but I'm still kind of freaking out, it's not every day you go telling a stranger all of your problems."

  I can see the sadness written across her face, but she holds a smile while she preaches that it will all be fine. I tune her out as my mind drifts off to thoughts of fear. What if he finds out that I told someone? I have been trying to not worry about it, but it always seems to sit in the back of mind. How do people go through things so vile, so disgusting and come out being normal again?

  Lindsay shutting the front door makes me jump and return to the present. She must have asked a question and I was zoned out, because when I open the door to follow her out to the car. I find her with a pissed of look on her face as she honks the horn. I roll my eyes and walk extremely slow to the car. I might as well make her being pissed off at me worth it I think to myself.

  Once in the car she smacks me on my arm and says.

  "You're such a bitch sometimes!"

  "Ditto," I mumble as I lean my head on the window and close my eyes.

  I wake with a jolt from Lindsay blaring the car horn. I bang my head on the window, my purse falls off my lap and spills all of it's contents.

  "What the fuck Lindsay" I scream.

  "Rise and shine bitch," She thr
ows her head back laughing.

  "Are you seriously trying to pay me back for zoning out?"

  "We are fighting like little bitches right before I have to go in there and spill all of my thoughts to some old fucking shrink who is gonna make me pay for every word I say, and you’re acting like a fucking five year old!" I bitch at her.

  "You're right I'm being a bitch. I am sorry.

  Truce?"

  "We are good can we please just go get this over with? I am just mentally exhausted and I am being a bitch too."

  We make our way into the small brick building. A plump older woman sits behind a desk. Lindsay walks up to her and sparks a conversation right away.

  "Well hi there darling, I don't remember having you scheduled for this afternoon." The woman says looking through papers on her desk.

  "Well that's because I'm not here for me today." Lindsay says smiling gesturing for me to come over.

  "This is Laney she has an appointment at 4:00."

  "Oh, well hello sweetheart. I am Eleanor and I will need you to fill out these, you can just hold onto them until you are called to go back." She states as she hands me a clipboard and pen.

  "Thank you." I say shyly.

  I take them and wonder over to a chair next to a fish tank filled with salt water fish. I stare at the colorful fish for longer than I should have, because Lindsay comes over and taps my shoulder to get my attention.

  "You okay?" She asks in a sad tone with despair written all over her face.

  "Yeah, I'm good the fish are pretty. The blue one with yellow stripes on its fin is captivating," I whisper to her as I pointed the fish out.

  She looks at me with a smile, she knows I am trying to avoid what I am supposed to be doing. I remind myself that I am doing this not only for her but I should be doing it for me too.

  I grab the pen start to fill out the forms. Eleanor makes her way out from behind the small desk in the corner out to us. She offers Lindsay and I a bottle of water, we both accept one and thank her as she walks back to her desk.